Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Job job job

I have a job interview at El Chicos today. Wishing my self luck. Friday job on campus interview!!

Sunday, January 16, 2011


Today God weighed hard on me and I definitely had him speak to me today and release a hard issue I've had on my heart for oh about a year now.
Today I forgave my ex husband for cheating on me. I can't probably also thank the fact I am a positive person and try to lean more on the upside of things. The pastor was going deeper into unanswered prayers and how we have things we just don't expect, its a mercy to us. Well I felt it in my heart. John's affair was God's path for me, like an unanswered prayer.
I know many times in El Paso I prayed to God to help me show me what his path was for me. His affair- There for an answered prayer in disguise. If he hadn't strayed and turned into the awful two-faced creature I thought he was, I would not be here living on my own, in Denton about to start school with all determination in my human being and soul to finish. I wouldn't know who I am and know down in my heart I am meant for more than just my MRS. degree.
With this in the open if John had not strayed from our lifelong commitment I would not be strong as I am today, I would be miserable and in a place holding me from all my future potential he has in store for me.
I am no doubt following God's plan for me. I left John stopped following the army's path for him and I am now on my own path God has created for me.

Things I am now to my answered prayer:
Focused on his plan

I also know over time I will learn more about myself to add to this list, as opposed to stuff I wouldn't know if it wasn't God's plan for me.

So with this realization of, God does have bigger plans for me, I want to take this blog of written words of my life to thank my ex-husband for being unfaithful to me.
I know now that I am meant for bigger and better things. I have the strength to be on my own. I have faith that is as big as God's love and I am not frowned about for having a faith as big as my heart. I know who Andrea is. Thank you for cheating on me, I have no desire to find out why you did what you did, I know the answer to that is it was God's plan for you & me. I wouldn't call our marriage a mistake, it got me here, on my RIGHT path. There for I will never expect you to apologize for cheating on me, it was intentional whichever way you look at it. Just know if for some chance you EVER see this blog, know I do forgive you. What you did can't be forgotten but know I wish him and his new wife and child(ren) the best God has for them. He in a way gave me a big gift and I can't thank him enough for it. He gave me, my life with the Father and my path back.

God put me here to do big things and I thank my Ex-husband for giving me the chance and opportunity to find myself again.

A friend pointed out to me that some women would despise their ex for all that happened and never forgive. Never  ever seeing it was just God answering their prayers and sending them back to their paths he had planned for them.

THAT is how my day has gone so far.
<3 Tater out.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

lonely? homesick? or just bored?

I went on my official first day of job hunting today. shesh, you think a college town someone would interview you right on the spot but I guess not. I am hoping if no one calls (holding hope someone does call) my interview for TWU video editor goes great. I am kinda glad she moved it from this friday to next friday. I have 8 days to practice and use my editing program. I think I need to go walk around town and throw random vlogs together. Any ideas?

Interesting story, if you are a friend of mine on FB then you know about my wonderful adventure last night. my back neighbor finally made an appearance...not a welcome one though.
Last night about midnight 03 I finally was able to get comfortable and lay down. Just as I was starting to shut my eyes and fade from my magazine I was reading low and behold their presence. Randomly awful moans with a responding grunt here and there. Yes ladies and gents the skank behind me and our oh so amazingly constructed paper thin walls. I would guess I was about 24 inches away from the skank and grunt going full paced hard core porn style. you could hear everything, and i mean evvvvverything. Thats including the random "are you close?" repeatedly asked to the grunt. joy, is my full response.

Now I mentioned these paper thin walls did I mention I had music on at 9:45 Sunday and the girl UPSTAIRS told me it was too loud!

Now I know everyone on my side of the building lives alone. However even the skank made me feel pretty lonely last night and today.
Finding someone before I left Corpus christi, someone who genuinely cared about me, took care of me, and is one of the most amazing people I have ever met was absolutely a great experience, and best relationship I've had. Just makes me miss him a lot. Yes, it brings me to tears I have a nice little void, missing my comfort, being in his arms, and feeling so protected from anyone and even words. i miss him a lot. You always find the best ones when you aren't looking.
With all these "i love you"s & "missing you"s from him, my sister, my best friends & mom have kinda gotten to me. Not to mention the ever growing stress of having no job and watching the bank account dwindle down to a double digits soon to be a single, yeah doesn't help so much. Yes I would like to think my void in my heart is growing. Though its been suggested I am just bored waiting for school, that thought has crossed my mind as I drive the streets of Denton with no where to go.

If there is anything I have learned, its God has a path and gives me things he knows I am capable of. So instead of what I have repeated in the past and cry my little eyes out until I fall asleep I will be praising God and giving him all the thanks for putting me in such a blessed and beautiful position in my life.
I have conquered an awful divorce where anyone even a cheater (all but him) would say I was wrongly done. I know I deserve all the best in the world and I am here in my position and it wouldn't be made possible if I was not meant to be here right now. With that said: my past doesn't define me.
it is those past experiences, stories, and relationships who have built me to be who i am today. and today that is yet feeling lonely, I am in Denton, TX a 24 year old female who has struggled in the past but has more determination than I have ever had in my life to finish and prove to those who did not believe in me to stay by me that they have their views all wrong and who they thought I was was just yet another bad judgement in their life. and finally one day I can say "look who is on top now".

so for now when I am feeling lonely, I know I am not.

I will leave you with this verse

"but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; 
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; 
they shall run, and not be weary; 
and they shall walk, and not faint." -Isaiah 40:31

p.s. with this said I believe I might be attempting a church or two sunday morning.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Denton LOVE!

I have finally made it to Denton, TX. It was a long drive but with my moms help we made it here! and we have successfully managed to empty everything into my 450 sq ft apartment. 

I came to the apartment greeted by my best friend who had given my a tour of the apartment the night before via skype. I thank technology and the apple iphone inventor! I really dislike that moving really shows how much crap you have. Boo! 



So I am officially settled  in. I just had my first night in my own place. I can’t believe I am here. Time I had left in corpus just flew right by me and now I am here on my own in Denton. 

Things to do today: 

Craigslist job hunt
Respond to potential job interviews
Shower/prepare for the COLD day
Make lunch (yummy vegetable chili) 
Job application hunt  near home
Return shelves from Target 
knock out walmart list
visit dollar tree (tackle that list) 
come home
love on bailey & nibs
and hopefully watch more veronica mars

Kinda how my next few days will go. I have a potential job on campus but my interview has been moved to NEXT friday. The interview is working with iMovie 9. Giving me plenty of time to make a few more videos and work on other videos and practice editing. So I can nail the job. 

I hope soon to put up photos of this swaggin place i got here. But for now time to tackle CL and find myself a JOB! 

Hope everyone is staying warm. To all my corpus family and friends I send you all my love and best wishes I miss you all. 

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I am currently packing....

we are finishing inside packing before we place it in the penske truck sitting in my driveway.

Just wanted to inform of a short hiatis while we pack. and i transfer my wonderful MAC and get internet hooked up on monday!

Adios Corpus Christi!! This is it!

Monday, January 3, 2011

things that annoy me.

I am in no rush to be pregnant NOR married again.

but it annoys me that everyone i grew up with is pregnant or getting married or has been married.

Me of all people are not one to suggest marriage of all things and nor will you find me advocating babies either.

I wish marriage was held to its standards like in the old testiment.

Just a small rant when I saw a photo of someone I went to Elementary, middle school, and high school. She has only been married for a year? oh well they say when you can't beat them join them, but don't fret this is one fight (annoyance) i will NOT be joining for a long time!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

4 full days

4 full days until I am on my way.

Happy new year everyone. 

Just wanted to let everyone know I am just in a chaotic place with packing and seeing friends before i take off friday.